Introducing: The Nothing Store!

(I'm having some post-birthday blues, so allow myself to lighten myself.)

Due to disappointing response to Buy Nothing Day, we're opening a new store - The Nothing Store! For people who want to give a gift, but want to feel like they did and gut the guilt, this is the place for you! In our store you'll find every kind of nothing you might want - all colors, shapes and sizes await you. International too - we support all universal cognition-based models of nothing! Just browse everything we have to offer, add your desired nothings to your cart, and check out. It's that easy! The recipient will receive nothing in the mail within one hour. It's that fast!

Because we're new, we have some kinks to work out, but we'll have answers to your questions soon, we promise!

• How do I access your items that are on sale?



• How does does my gift receiver know when it's arrived?



• When will you have product photos?



• Your cart's quantity feature is confusing. It says to remove nothing, simply change its quantity to zero and click Update Cart, but how is zero nothings different from some nothings?



• My person didn't receive her nothing. How do I re-send it?



• How do I get a refund, and how should I package the nothing for return?

For questions and inquiries contact Customer Support. Rest assured, we always have no one standing by. Unfortunately, they're usually up to nothing.

Comments

[Annabel Candy]

Hi Mathew, sorry this birthday greeting is a bit late. I do hope you got the present I sent you in time though. Just a little something I picked up in your Nothing Store:) Have a brilliant year and keep up the great writing!

[matthewcornell]

Thanks for everything. Or should that be "nothing?" :-)

[Dave Cornell]

An idea: if someone makes an inappropriate request, you intentionally don't reply, and they don't understand why you didn't reply, you could send them a message explaining why you didn't reply. So you send something to explain why you sent nothing! Hence, nothing becomes something.

[matthewcornell]

Deep! Thanks, brother.

[dorijoyreader]

one of the things i am sure of, is that when/if i don't have something relevant to say, is better to say nothing, and my first thought was "oh, i like this post ((i know i like something when i don't feel the need to "change" it - same goes for people)) but i have nothing to say about it"
but, apparently, nothing to say can take a form of some kind, possibly relevant for the "transmitter", probably irrelevant for the "receiver";
but do we ever, really, have "nothing to say"?
personally, i find it difficult, almost impossible, to NOT answer a question or to not formulate my view on some subject
(oh. maybe i ll start an experiment on edison)

[Matthew Cornell]

Re: not talking, I'm the same way. I almost always have something I want to offer, but I often experiment with not talking. That space leaves room for me to hear something I wouldn't have normally got to hear. Taking it further, I think saying nothing can have value for both transmitter and receiver. Thanks for the comment.